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The  Breakup  How-to  Guide

You had a major crush on him for months before he finally asked you out. You became inseparable, and you couldn't have imagined yourself without him.

Now? Something has changed, and you can't imagine your life with him. Hard as it is to believe, you want out of the relationship you worked so hard to get into. So how exactly do you go about breaking up with a BF diplomatically? Here’s our step-by-step guide:

1. Make sure you’re sure.
There’s no guarantee he’ll take you back if you change your mind about this, so you’d better be darn certain this is what you want before you go breaking it off. Is there something in particular that makes you unhappy in the relationship? Some problems can be worked out, like if you want to spend more time with your friends. Other problems, such as his insane jealousy, aren’t so easily solved. Once you figure out what’s wrong, decide if you want to fix it or end it.

2. Be a girl with a plan.
If you definitely want to go through with it, you’re going to have to break the news to your boyfriend. So plan out when and how you're going to tell him. If you're super-peeved at him (say, you heard he made out with your friend), it's best to sit on it for a few days until you’re calm.

3. Give him face time.
Although you could tell him over the phone or by email, talking to him in person is kinder and more respectful. Meet in a quiet place where you won't be interrupted. Do not break up with him at a party or in a crowded restaurant. Being part of a humiliating scene only looks cool on TV.

4. Spit out the truth.
Be honest and direct. Make it clear that you want to end it. Don't give mixed messages that keep him holding out hope. There's no need to explain yourself or place blame. Remember, this is someone you cared about once, and even if you think he's a jerk right now, he still has feelings. All you need to relay to him is, “This isn’t working for me, and I’m moving on.” Then do just that -- move on.

RelationsHip Tip

Crush Much?

What to do if you’re crushing on someone a lot older -- a teacher or your big brother’s best friend? Should you tell him how you feel? No! It’s not uncommon for girls to develop crushes on older guys, but it’s inappropriate to act on those feelings. Instead, think about your crush’s good qualities and look for similar traits in someone closer to your age. If your crush has given you a sign that he’s interested in you, talk to an adult you trust. You might feel flattered, but now he’s acting inappropriately.

Comments

inaya Says...

yeah right

uh hu this tip would be good fr u if u were in the 7 grade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by inaya, 2/14/10 at 10:11 AM

leya Says...

:)

I would never ever break up with my boyfriend...i think maybe, we really do care about eachhother....

Posted by leya , 2/14/10 at 1:12 PM

Beda Says...

Problems with bf

Ok so me and my f txt lik everyday right but he used 2 call me babe and say ily all the time thats slowd down now he's completely stopped with the babe thing it maks me mad i ask y its stopped and he tinks i dont lik it wen he calls but i luv it!!! He's sooo confusin and can get so jealous how should i deal with it without ending our relationship!!!!!!!!

Posted by Beda, 2/14/10 at 3:11 PM

I would say try it out for at least a week and if theres things bout him you dont like tell him and see if he changes if he doesnt well then theres no point in being with a dumb fo like that. Says...

Suheily

In reality you think you found the right guy...but just because he makes you fell nice n warm like a princess doesnt mean he has his little things you hate.if you dont like something about him but you cant break up with him cuz you "love him" well talk bout it!!

Posted by I would say try it out for at least a week and if theres things bout him you dont like tell him and see if he changes if he doesnt well then theres no point in being with a dumb fo like that., 2/15/10 at 2:43 PM

Lucy Says...

Older guys

I happen to like a guy 2 years older then me but its sad because he's leaving next year to go to university. He knows I like him and he likes me too but were trying to decided weather we want to go out. I want to because I don't see 2 years as much of a difference but hes not sure because he thinks that he'll be treated differently by his mates. I'm hoping he'll change his mind soon becuase I really like him. Xx

Posted by Lucy, 2/17/10 at 8:19 PM

Sabrina Says...

"I want a break"

i met this guy in the 7th grade we went out 4 a week and a day then he broke up with me. he didnt talk to me for like two years. i found him on a website a few weeks ago, and he just started talking to me. a couple of weeks later he asked me out and i said yes, today made it exactly a week we have been going out and then he says he wants a break, because he isnt sure he is ready for a gf. at 1st he was alwys flirting, calling me baby and all that jazz, then i said ily, and i want us to last longer then what we did. once it stopped 4 two days i asked him whats wrong nxt thing i know he told me "i want a break". he also said he ment when he said "i love you". Does that mean he is planning on getting back together, and would i be stupid to take him back?

Posted by Sabrina, 2/19/10 at 7:05 PM

boyfriends? please. Says...

im not even dating anyone.

no one has ever liked me...this jst made me feel worse! :((((

Posted by boyfriends? please., 2/20/10 at 12:22 PM

shea Says...

how to break up

if you dont feel what you used to feel or for other reasons here are some tips 1. if you are afraid do it throgh text message or call him 2. care about his fellings say we can still be freinds 3. dont tell people its very rude

Posted by shea, 2/20/10 at 2:20 PM

Amber Says...

What Leya said

I just want to say you can care about someone, but you may not love them. so don't center your whole life around one guy. Im not suggesting you dont luv him, but B careful

Posted by Amber, 2/20/10 at 8:17 PM

Taylorrrr Says...

ITS NOT THAT EASY.

trust mee.... thats all i have to say.

Posted by Taylorrrr, 2/21/10 at 3:28 AM

GirlyGirl Says...

My Bf..

Heyy thanks so much 4 the advice it really helped, cause i have a bf who ignores me and doesnt really talk to me all that much, so i guess i'll break up with him..thanks for the tips. :)

Posted by GirlyGirl, 2/22/10 at 12:20 AM

duncan Says...

not knowing how

i think the problem with girls is that when it comes to break ups, they never stop to ask if the guy is having problems with it too. if he changes the way he acts, he may be upset about something, or hes hiding something. talking things out is the only way to make a relationship work, so the next time a guys acting odd, dont be afraid to ask him about it.

Posted by duncan, 2/22/10 at 7:31 AM

skylar Says...

cheating boyfriend or lying friends?

i have a bf we will be datin for a mnth march 10. he cheated on me once n we tlked about it for 3 hours n he said he didnt want to lose me n he wud never do it again then a week later 3 of my friends try to break us up over n over again but i dnt want to then they come out that that he cheated on me with my BEST FRIEND!!!!!! at church that night i talked to him i only trust him now cuz i tld him to give me his phone when we were fightin about it n he didnt even ask y he just gave it to me then him n his brother have NEVER lied to each other since they were like 5 yrs old their 15 now n they still dnt lie 2 each other n his brother tells me EVERYTHING my bf does that i need to no n his brother said that my bf told him he wasnt cheatin on me my friend went to him first but he dnt do nun to her but she wudnt leave him alone then i read a txt he sent his bff sayin '' so pissed my girl is mad at me cuz her bff lied sayin i cheated on her with her'' that made me feel better to cuz he dnt lie to his bff either so i trusted him n stayed with him now the 3 girls that tried breaking us up my 3 bffs wont talk to me til i do but they no im happy with him. does that make me or them a bad friend? does that mean they really wont talk to me till im unhappy again? help me ...

Posted by skylar, 3/4/10 at 11:17 AM

Miz hbic Says...

yeah

ok here iz how it goes first of all i would never break up wit my bf we will be together for ever ........but if ur going to break up wit ur bf 4 cheating on u cus him out but if u just dont feel a spark break up wit him over a text

Posted by Miz hbic, 3/8/10 at 7:25 PM

demi - lee Says...

lying to your friends .....whats she done to desurf this?

just think losing a friend over a boy!! dont think so i would stick to my pals !!!!!!!!xxx

Posted by demi - lee, 3/11/10 at 12:50 PM

cheezcrazy (i was ilovecheese but sum1 else started usin tht name ) Says...

to skylar

um ok .... tricky ... u shud tlk 2 ur friends bout it - if they wher true friends theyd lke u whoev u went out wth !!!! and probaly tlk 2 ur bff ask her bout it - shell probaly lie but tlk 2 her 4 a long time n da truth will come out. ther is a possibilty tht ur bfs bro is lyin n tht txt message was a set up . think carfully b4 u make da nxt move!!! xxx

Posted by cheezcrazy (i was ilovecheese but sum1 else started usin tht name ), 3/20/10 at 1:35 PM

Hannah Says...

dont know what to do!!!!

i am very young to be in love and to have a boyfriend but i dont really care. i am 12 years old and in love. but recently i have been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. i dont want to at all, but my parents keep making me cry about him by saying really mean comments and my family keeps getting in my business(my aunts, grandma, and 7 year old cousin). breaking up with him would really hurt me and my baby(thats what i call my boyfriend). we really love each other though. should i keep going with him? i dont wanna break up with him though.

Posted by Hannah, 3/21/10 at 11:14 AM

TaylorXTC Says...

Crushing On Older Guys.

It's Fine To Like older guys. My last ex was 17 and i'm 13, and that relationship turned out great. Your not acting inapproatiely, age is just a number. Like my friends mom is 13 years younger then her husband, theres nothing wring with that. So if you like someone older, go for it, it might work out it might not. If it dosent, theres plenty of fish in the sea.

Posted by TaylorXTC, 4/8/10 at 12:26 PM

Shantel Says...

Kissing

I was in love with a boy named Derek but he became a total jerk! We kissed, dated, went out and all. but I can't believe what happened to that sweet CUTE boy. he was so hot. but he turned into a jerk, grew his hair and he became uglier and rude! How do I break the news to him or fix THIS?

Posted by Shantel, 4/18/10 at 7:58 PM

Katelen Says...

My Ex

When i broke up with this guy that really liked me - we had been going out for 3 months but he lived in Maypearl and i lived in Waxahachie it was kinda hard but he liked me for about 2 years before we started to date and so did i.

Posted by Katelen, 4/28/10 at 6:43 PM

Alexis Says...

MY EX-Boyfriend

I went out with this guy named Chandler for 5 months. I really did like him, but we never got to see each other.I did care for him but I knew that we needed to break-up.So the big day came and I ended it.He was very upset.We talk still but I think he likes my friend.She would never go for him though (girl code)!!!!!!!!!!!But I think me and him are still friends.SO IT'S ALL GOOD!!!!! LATERS:)

Posted by Alexis, 5/8/10 at 8:27 PM

somebody Says...

why

i miss him so much an we wernt even datin omg i cant take it

Posted by somebody, 5/10/10 at 7:18 PM

sarah Says...

its not that easy to break up with yer bf

me and my bf had a fling to see how compatible we were for eachother for a lil more then 5months and have been dating for like two months maybe a lil more. and i have had thoughts of breaking up with him and its not easy as this thing sounds like it is.doin it in peron wood suck i wood text it and explainn yourself then a few days later go see your ex and talk to them bout it and see if its really what u wanted forsure before u get hurt by seeing them with someone else

Posted by sarah, 6/28/10 at 1:16 AM

Linda Says...

Break up's sucks

i broke up with my BF 2 days ago and he now dating a girl name Tasha and she was my BFF that suck for me he broke up with my because i wasnt a skank and i still like him

Posted by Linda, 7/5/10 at 3:44 AM

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Quiz

True or False? When it comes to cyberbullying, most girls don’t have to worry about being hurt by a BFF.





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