Help! My Friends All Have Boyfriends and I Don’t

All your girls have boyfriends, and you keep thinking about how things would be way more fun if you had a BF too. Stop that! Being single means you have way more chances for fun than your attached friends. Don’t believe us? Just in case you have your doubts, here are some reminders about why being single rocks.

Make friends with the boyfriends’ friends.
There are limitless opps to hang out in a group together. Stuff like bowling is way more fun with lots of people. And if your friends’ BFs are awesome, that means their buddies probably are too. How lucky you are to get a chance to get to know some of these guys on a casual level, without the pressure of dating. And what an awesome way to expand your group of friends!

Stay outside of boyfriend drama.
OK, maybe there’s a little seepage from your friends’ boyfriend dramas. But you won’t have to deal with your own BF drama. Get in a fight over going to see the new chick flick instead of the latest alien robot action thriller? Not a chance! You’re your own movie-selection-making machine.

Have girl-only time, all the time!
There’s a reason why “girl time” is considered to be awesome. Because it is! You can only talk about Zac Efron’s dreamy eyes for so long before a boy will change the subject to how many zombies he’s killed in some mindless video game. But be gentle when asking your attached friends for some time with them. Go for, “I’m dying to see The Lucky One. You in for a girls’ night?” Not, “Can we do something without your boyfriend for once?”

Hang out with whatever guy friends you want.
Boyfriends get jealous sometimes. Should they? We don’t think so. But at least when you’re single, you don’t have to worry about someone getting upset over your splitting an ice-cream sundae with a guy friend.

Have more time to be there for your friends.
No worrying about dealing with a peeved boyfriend when you have to cancel plans at the last minute because a friend needs help with her homework or just wants you to come over and bake cupcakes. And who’s she gonna turn to when she has an extra concert ticket because she and her BF are on the outs? Her single friend, of course! Hey, duty calls.

Appreciate the quality of your friendships.
Sure, you have occasional spats with your BFFs. But the truth is that friendships survive a lot more tough stuff than romantic relationships. Years down the road, you’re going to be thankful for all the friendships you had -- not all your boyfriend breakups. Being single gives you way more time to work on those friendships you’re going to treasure for the rest of your life.

Enjoy your alone time.
Being alone gets a bad rap, but it shouldn’t. There’s a lot to be gained in having some quiet time to reflect and get acquainted with your true self! So when all of your friends are out doing the couples thing, be grateful for your personal freedom. Break out the rollerblades and take a spin around the neighborhood, or lock yourself in your bedroom to perfect those cute nail art designs.

Beat Boredom: Kick off a Summer Fun Club!

You’ve seen the movie Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer, right? Judy and her friends broke out some poster board and, with a few colored markers, determined that their summer would be an adventure! You can do the same by getting your friends together for a planning committee meeting (not as serious as it sounds). Bring on the summer fun!

Meet and Greet
Where will your club members meet and how often? Figure out a spot -- somebody’s basement or backyard (or rotate between each other’s houses), say, every three days at 3:33 p.m. sharp.

The Rule Book
Keep a notebook with club “rules and regulations.” (Please, don’t get all control-freaky -- the point is to have fun with this!) Keep a log of all the members’ names and phone numbers, and take notes of group discussions. If you decide to elect officers, whoever gets voted keeper of the club notebook will be in charge of its safekeeping.

Calendar of Events
Your summer fun club should also have a master calendar on which you and your friends can plan and keep track of activities. Need ideas for what to do? Here’s our spectacular summer fun club to-do list:

1. Solve a mystery.
Has your neighbor’s cat been disappearing for days on end? Or maybe you’ve always wondered who’s buried in that unmarked grave on the end lot. Make it a Nancy Drew club and crack a mysterious case of whaddup-wit-dat?!

2. Build a fort.
Even if you don’t have the materials, know-how or tools to construct a full-on fancy clubhouse, we’ve seen some pretty righteous structures built out of lawn furniture and curtain sheers. Get creative!

3. Learn a circus trick.
Get each of your friends to perfect a performance skill, such as a magic trick or tumbling routine, then stage a show for all of your parents.

4. Plan a field trip.
Decide on a destination -- maybe a nearby amusement park or cultural festival -- then figure out all the details (e.g., how to raise the money for admission tix, whose parents can supervise, transportation, etc.).

5. Do a neighborhood cleanup.
Show your neighbors how much you love them -- and the earth -- by keeping the area beautified. Walk around public areas, such as parks and schools, and pick up stray trash.

6. Prep a potluck picnic.
Grab some large blankets and head outdoors for lunch! Have each friend bring something to eat. (A signup sheet in the club notebook will help avoid doubling up on food items.) And remember to put someone in charge of plates and utensils.

7. Plant a community garden.
Maybe there’s a neglected plot of land in your neighborhood, or perhaps the elderly neighbor next door hasn’t been able to take care of her yard work. Your crew can volunteer to dig up the weeds, dispose of the debris and do some creative landscaping.

8. Race to the finish line.
Make a list of goals each club member must reach before the summer is over. These could include things like “Swim 100 laps at the public pool,” “Get a postcard from another state” or “Learn to do a back handspring.” Whoever completes her list first scores a blue-ribbon prize!

9. Have a yard sale.
You might not have enough stuff to justify a yard sale on your own, but what if you and your girls were to pull it off together? Figure out who has the best location, put all your for-sale items out with price tags, and split the earnings. Then give half of all the money you made to an agreed-upon charity.

10. Start a newsletter.
Create a newsletter to share with neighbors or just between you and your friends. (No gossip; spread good-vibing tidbits only!) Get each girl to write articles in her area of expertise, whether it’s music reviews or hard-hitting news.

Need Advice? Tap Into Your Intuition!

Are you desperately in need of advice? You could always bounce it off your BFF. Or your mom. Or your guidance counselor. Or … yourself! Here, we show you some tried-and-true techniques for following your own heart.

TAP INTO YOUR INTUITION: GUT-CHECK TIME

The Sitch: Your cousin is running with the wrong crowd, and she’s invited you to go to the mall with her and the crew this weekend. You miss your cuz; the two of you always have so much fun together! But you didn’t get such a good vibe from these kids the first time you met them.

Check Yourself: No need to answer your cousin on the fly! Thank her for the invite and tell her you’ll get back to her. Then take some quiet time to sort it all out. Sit down, close your eyes, still your mind and feel your truth. Would you like to give her friends a chance, or are you just not getting a good vibe about the whole thing? Follow that hunch.

TAP INTO YOUR INTUITION: WALK IT OFF

The Sitch: You were going after a starter position for the soccer team. You doubled up on practices and worked really hard, but you didn’t make the cut for first string. Coach is offering you a choice: second string for the super-competitive team or captain of intramurals.

Check Yourself: Decision-making can be challenging, especially when a ton of emotions are swirling around the issue. Instead of going into a woe-is-me fit, take a stroll. That’s right, a good walk can help you release negative feelings and shift your mood. Better? Once you’re centered, weigh the issue. Captain or second string? You can’t go wrong either way when it’s all about playing your game and having fun!

TAP INTO YOUR INTUITION: WRITE AWAY!

The Sitch: Your school’s mean girl has posted some pretty snide remarks about you on Facebook. It’s nothing major, but it’s clear she’s trying to rub you. And it’s working; you’re steamed! Ugh, everyone is texting you about it. You want to handle this without creating more drama, but how?

Check Yourself: If you’re looking for a specific answer here, sorry, not happening. Learning to read your intuition is about solving your own problems, especially in situations as sticky as this. When life gets complicated, it’s time to grab your journal and get writing. It’s OK to plan fantasy schemes of revenge, but once you’re done venting that bad juju, jot down as many amicable real-life solutions as possible.

TAP INTO YOUR INTUITION: CATCH YOUR DREAMS

The Sitch: Your two best friends are spatting, and you’re stuck in the middle. And you feel like you and your BF are drifting apart. Oh, and your parents are turning a bedroom into an office and making you double up with your sister. Plus, you’ve got exams coming up! Seems like it can’t get any worse.

Check yourself: Ruh-roh! When things pile on at once, do not go into freak-out mode. Give it a rest, literally, by solving problems in your sleep. Your dreams can be like a whisper from a trusted friend: your subconscious. Decoding your dreams provides clues to cracking your life’s little mysteries.


Quiz: Do You Fall Too Fast?

Sure, sometimes a boy is too cute to resist. And, yeah, we’ve all fallen for a fellah at least once. But when it comes to boys, is it always love at first sight? Answer the following Q’s to see if you need to slow down the crush craze:

Dating Disaster Survival Guide

Dating can be a slippery slope -- that’s why we want to help you gain solid footing. Here are our tips on how to save face in any situation. No sweat!

Worst-case Dating Scenario No. 1: You get your period unexpectedly.
Uh-oh. You’re chatting it up with your crush over a pile of shared nachos when you get that familiar (or unfamiliar, if you’re a first-timer) dampness in your underpants. Yikes … you’ve gotten your period!

What to do? Well, your best bet is to expect the unexpected. Even if you’re not due for a period, it’s never a bad idea to wear a just-in-case panty liner. And you keep a tampon or pad in your bag at all times, right? Right? If not, now is a good time to start. Excuse yourself to the ladies room and take care of business. If you don’t have any supplies, there are usually feminine-product dispensers in public restrooms, so take some change with you.

Worst-case Dating Scenario No. 2: The conversation freezes up ... brrr!
Again, it’s best to be prepped, so think ahead. Stash a few secret conversation weapons up your sleeve in case you two run into any of those awkwardly silent moments.

Before your date, make a mental list of three topics you can bring up to kick-start some conversation if the banter runs dry. For example, you could talk about the most recent concert you attended (be sure to ask about his musical tastes), your science-fair project or last week’s big game. No talking about the weather, puh-lease!

Worst-case Dating Scenario No. 3: You have a, um, wardrobe malfunction.
Aw, sheesh! Whether you’ve lost a button, busted a zipper or ripped a seam, something as simple as a safety pin (or two) can really save the day. It’s not difficult to toss a few into your bag before the date -- and just like with a tampon, it’s a good idea to keep a few on you all of the time anyway. Do you see a running theme here? The point is to be prepared.

Worst-case Dating Scenario No. 4: Your date has wicked-bad breath.
He’s cute and he’s kissable -- that is, until he leans in for a smooch, and you catch a whiff of ... what is that?

It’s smart to stash mints or gum along with your other emergency items, but here’s an important trick when it comes to dating and the quality of his breath (and yours): When you’re dining together, follow his lead and eat the same type of food as your date. If he orders something loaded with garlic, you’re not going to notice if you’ve eaten a garlicky dish too. Otherwise, step away from the scampi!