Make Peace With Your Inner Mean Girl

Has your inner mean girl come out to play? Ew! But before you give her the smackdown, know that she can hold a few clues as to what’s really going on in your world. Figure out how to rein her in and you can turn any icky situation into a pleasant experience. Promise!

You Are Not Your Reaction
You’re sitting at your fave cafe clutching a chocolate shake as your peeps notice a not-so-hot boy gawking at you. Seriously, he won’t stop staring! You make a snide comment about him, and your friends laugh hysterically.

So, how’d that feel? Do you really feel good about some boy, cute or not, being the butt of a joke? It’s nobody’s natural state to be mean. The guy obviously thinks you’re attractive, so instead of speaking up, silently take his stares as a compliment. If it makes you uncomfortable, simply look away. Why have a staring contest?

It’s an Inside Job
Oh, no! You and your bestie had a spat. No biggie, since you two usually patch things up stat. But your inner mean girl keeps hitting the replay button in your mind. You can’t stop thinking about how bossy and opinionated she is, and you totally have an attitude about it.

Could it be -- bear with us -- those qualities are on parade because she’s mirroring back things you don’t exactly adore about you? Turn inward. And be honest! Redirect your ’tude, and watch hers slowly shift too. Like magic!

Hold Yourself Accountable
Mom called you out (again) because you didn’t unload the dishwasher or clean out the cat’s litter box. Chores, ugh. So you snapped at her, and now you’re grounded. Yeah, you’re slammed with school and extracurrix. Still, no excuse!

So, suck it up and tell mom “Sorry.” The trick here is to not expect a payoff for apologizing. Just do it because you’re holding yourself responsible for being irresponsible. Owning up holds its own rewards. You’ll see (wink, wink).

Speak Your Mind

Sheesh! Every time you’re having some girl time in your crib with your crew, your little bro is trying to get in the mix. So embarrassing!

Have you talked to him privately about this? (No, screaming at him does not count!) Consider approaching your brother from a level of respect. Say something like, “Look, I know everybody treats you like you’re just a kid. But I know you’re way more mature than you pretend to be.” Set the convo up that way, and he’ll be so much more receptive to your request.

Don’t Be so Hard on Yourself
No matter how your life’s scenarios play out, be easy on yourself. If you slip into mean girl mode, acknowledge it and then take some quiet time to figure out how you can flip a negative into a positive. Then don’t stay stuck; move on. It really is that simple!

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/JoseASReyes

10 Ideas for Post-holiday Parties

The presents have been unwrapped. The out-of-town guests have skedaddled. And you’re now scratching your head over what to do with the freed-up sched.

Just because the holidays are over doesn’t mean you have to put a red light on the merriment. Reconnect with your buds (stress-free!) by trying out these mini-parties to keep the festive spirit bright.

1. Throw a new-season jam sesh. Have every guest bring three of their favorite newly released tunes, and then pop them on for all to enjoy. The upbeat melodies will keep you in a feel-good mood.

2. Hold a post-holiday photo shoot where everyone must model a new outfit. The best pose gets bragging rights till next year!

3. Throw a disco Christmas. There’s an excuse to celebrate Christmas again when you’re doing it in costume! Raid your mom’s closet for the greatest (free) vintage finds, then blast ’70s holiday covers like Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime.”

4. Conduct your own neighborhood Winter Olympics. There’s still time before the big summer sporting event, but you can bridge the gap between seasons with some winter team spirit. Designate a country for each friend and go head-to-head in events like snowball-throwing, snowman-building or sledding.

5. Go eco-chic. Grab all of the wrapping paper scraps around your house and invite your friends over for an “It’s a Wrap” craft party. Make useful items like bookmarks and magazine holders with the odds and ends, and then store them away for mini Earth Day prezzies.

6. Hold an ornament exchange party where everyone anonymously swaps a wrapped ornament from their tree this year. You’ll be counting down the days till the next holiday season to show off your new accessory in all of its seasonal glory.

7. Kick off a “12 Months of 2012” bash. Instead of confining all your celebrations to the end of the year, celebrate a year’s worth of occasions in one night! Have everyone dress as a different month and bring a dish that is special to that season. Think of it as taking a glimpse into your 2012 future.

8. Pull an all-nighter with a Christmas movie marathon. Slipping into those cozy PJs and watching a selection of your favorite holiday hits will bring the jolly glow back to the forefront of your mind.

9. Indulge in a baking bonanza. Invite your buds over to bake the cookies you missed out on while eating your umpteenth treat over the holidays. Chuckle about the wackiest prezzies you each received while snacking on the fresh-baked goodies.

10. Heart a chocolate-tasting dessert buffet. From a fondue station to an assortment of decadent brownies, spend one night satisfying your sweet tooth with all the chocolate you can consume and gabbing about your celeb and class crushes. Guarantee it will hold you over until Valentine’s Day!

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/JBryson

Does He Like You?

Boys are a total mystery -- especially when it comes to the “Does he like me?” dilemma. Confuzzled over how he feels? We got real boys to dish on how they show a girl they’re totally diggin’ her:

USUALLY, WHEN I LIKE A GIRL …

“I try to make her laugh.”

If a boy is crushing on you, he’ll go out of his way to make you laugh. Whether he constantly cracks jokes or just acts silly, it’s his shy way of saying he’s into you.

“I can’t help smiling a lot.”

Is your boy grinning from ear to ear every time he sees you? He most likely has feelings behind that smile. Just like how you can’t keep a straight face in front of a crush, it’s the same for boys too.

“I send her a friend request on FB.”

This fella admits that he stalks his crush on Facebook. When a guy fancies you, he’ll make an attempt to spark a connection -- sometimes via the Web.

“I tease her in a joking way.”

A lot of boys are too sheepish to come right out and say they like you. The alternative? He’ll playfully poke fun at you.

“I get really shy around her.”

Even the most confident guys get a little bashful when someone they like is nearby. Don’t assume a boy isn’t feeling you just because he clams up in your presence. He may be tongue-tied because you make him nervous. 

“I give her hugs.”

A surefire way to know if a dude has a crush is to watch his body language. Does he give you a flirty nudge or hug you hello? He’s not saying it, but he’s showing you he feels a spark.

“I go out of my way to talk to her.”

If a boy stops by your desk to say hi or hits you up in a crowded hallway, he’s making a special attempt to fire up a convo. Think he’s just making the most of mingling moments? Think again. He wants to connect with you.

“I help her with stuff.”

When a boy plays like he’s your hero, it doesn’t just mean he’s a sweet guy. Helping you open your locker, carrying your books or jumping at the chance to pick up an item you dropped shows he’s trying to win you over.

“I care about things I’ve never cared about before.”

If a guy shows a sudden interest in your cheerleading competitions or takes the time to notice your new ’do, he’s not just super-observant -- he’s hot for you. And if he starts wearing cologne? Look out!

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/mediaphotos

Be You Around Boys

Goofing around or just hanging with your besties is easy for you. You have a chill vibe that just flows. Except, that is, when a boy jumps onto the scene. Add a dash of dimples that make you melt, and you’re tongue-tied, drawing blanks.

Stop that right now! Read on to find out how you can still be the fun-loving, confident and amazing you and keep on streaming your awesome personality -- even around boys.

Remember: He’s Just a Boy
Repeat this mantra: “Boys are people too.” Sure, you might think Brown Eyes never stresses over a breakout or grades, but guess what? He’s human. Reminding yourself that he’s just a normal person, like your dad or li’l bro, will help you break down the gender wall that fuh-reaks you out so much.

Have Fun With It!

Talking to boys should be fun and exciting, not nerve-racking. One way to shrug off your worries? Laugh it up! Have some go-to jokes and stow them away in your back pocket for use when you’re in an at-a-loss-for-words pinch. A good chuckle should put you -- and him -- at ease.

Don’t Stress to Impress

A major reason many girls keep their lips zipped in the presence of boys is because they’re looking to wow them with some totally profound and insightful conversation. But don’t force it. Your friends and fam still love you when you don’t captivate them with your every word -- and boys will too.

Find Some Common Ground

You slam your locker shut and turn to go to science class when a cutie stops by to walk with you. Panic sets in. What are you going talk about?! Hmm, how about science? Duh! Take a minute to think of any hobbies, classes, clubs and interests you share with a guy. Reach into your bag of mutual likes for ammo to fire up the convo.

Pretend He’s Your BFF

When chit-chatting with a dude, pretend he’s just one of the girls. How would you act, and what would you say and do if the guy were just your best friend? Playing a little game of make-believe that he’s a gal pal should make you a lot less jittery.

What Do Your Dreams Mean?

Some pretty far-out things can happen after your head hits the pillow at night, right? Dreams can be magical, mysterious and at times even terrifying. But fear not: It’s just your subconscious mind trying to gab with you. We’ll help you get a clue.

Keep a Dream Diary
The only way to decipher what your dreams are trying to tell you is to remember them -- and that can be a toughie. So keep a journal and pen handy by your bed, then tell yourself before you go to sleep, “Don’t forget your dreams tonight.” As soon as your eyes pop open in the a.m. -- before you brush your teeth -- jot down anything you can recall: people, places, events, objects … whatever.

Let Your Dream Tell a Story
Grace, 15, recently had a dream in which she locked herself in a bathroom stall at school and wouldn’t come out. All of her classmates piled into the girls’ restroom, carrying on like circus performers. There were clowns, lion tamers, monkeys -- way more activity than could ever actually take place in that small space. Grace, in her dream, was on her cell phone trying to call her mom, but there was no answer.

Crack the Dream Code
So what did Grace’s dream mean? After journaling about it and giving it some thought, Grace figured it out. She’d recently been at the center of a nasty rumor, and the dream reflected her feelings about that. She’d felt trapped (locked in) by all the commotion (circus) the gossip had created, and she felt helpless (unable to get through on her cell). If you’re having trouble understanding what the elements of your dream represent, you can check a dream dictionary -- but first look for any personal meaning related to what’s going on in your life.

Dream up a Solution
The next night, before going to bed, Grace wrote in her diary, “I want to have a dream that helps me deal with this gossip situation.” Here’s what happened: This time in her dream, Grace was the star of the circus, but there was no audience. She was swinging on a flying trapeze while holding scissors -- with her toes. She soared back and forth, then did a theatrical triple-flip, clipping the cords to the trapeze swing as she did so. In that moment, the scissors disintegrated and her feet grew wings. She flew clear through the top of the circus tent and into the sky.

Find Freedom in Your Dreams
Grace found her peace inside this dream. She owned her power and decided to cut off any and all attention to the gossip that was going on around her at school. And guess what? Poof! The rumors quickly disappeared. So you see? Dreams can create real-life happy endings when you know how to read them.