Hey, girl, you’ve got the power! Think you’re in a situation that’s completely hopeless? Perish the thought ... and rethink it. Here’s how.
Toxic Thought: “I’m flunking this class! I’m so stupid -- I’ll never make it out of middle school.”
Positive Thought: “I will improve this grade! I’m going to pass this class and I’m determined to focus on that goal.”
Think negative, and guess what -- that’s what you’re gonna get. Negative self-talk depletes you of the energy and motivation needed to do well. Certainly you can improve your grade to some degree from where it is now! So set a short-term goal, and once you’ve reached that, set another. Do what it takes: Get a study buddy, see your teacher after class, and talk to your parents about tutoring. Each time you get a better score on a paper or test, it’ll boost your confidence. And before you know it, you may even see an A!
Toxic Thought: “My BFF and I had a huge fight, and we’ll probably never speak to each other again!”
Positive Thought: “Friends do not always agree, and that’s OK. I love my BFF no matter what, so I’ll just give this time to cool off.”
You and your BFF had a spat? It’s not the end of the universe. Promise! Give each other some space to let the emotions wind down. Once you’re feeling in a positive frame of mind, approach her with an upbeat attitude. If it’s an issue that can be let go, well, let it go. There’s no purpose in dredging up past stuff. If it’s something that needs to be resolved, work toward a lighthearted compromise. Each of you could write down three perceived solutions, and then share them with each other to see what will work best for both of you. Maybe you can combine one of her solutions with yours, turning a conflict into a moment of cooperation!
Toxic Thought: “I hate my parents’ rules! They are so unfair. I swear they are trying to make my life miserable.”
Positive Thought: “I really think my parents are too strict, but I know they’re doing what they think is best for me.”
You can’t change anything until you first accept it the way it is. Instead of battling with your parents about their rules, show them that you respect their boundaries. If you really want to, say, negotiate a later curfew, approach them with maturity. You could ask for an extra half hour on a specific night. But check yourself before you do: Having a spaz attack will get you nowhere, while reasoning with them and showing that you have self-control just might do the trick. If not, give it a few weeks and try again. Good luck, positive thinker!